I Am Not a Tree

I have been thinking a lot about change lately.  I love catchy quotes and the other day I read this one online.  "If you don't like where you are, then change it.  You are not a tree."  This is especially meaningful to me because there has been a lot of change in my life lately, some of it good and some of it sad. 

The death of my sister has had a lasting effect on my emotions.  I know that sounds strange, but I am not your average emotional gal.  I learned very young that pretty much everything in life is mainly out of our control and there is not a lot of point in sweating most things.  Just keep rolling.  Just keep rolling.  I am well aware that this is emotional immaturity, but it is how I am made.

Having an early childhood like mine, there are certain things that one must do to protect themselves.  I have walls and bridges and moats built around my heart.  The death of my sister broke down all of those barriers.  My heart is absolutely broken in two and I do not know if it will ever be whole again.  I feel as though part of my soul is gone away.  I wish so many things were different, but those are things that I cannot change.  
I pray every day that it will not feel so bad.  That old cliche says that time heals all wounds.  I am just wondering how much time!  I do not have a lot of patience, but I would probably have more if I could sleep!

That is enough of the sad stuff. 

We are moving this week to a house that I love!  We will have more room inside and have room to grow a garden in the back yard.  I will be able to sit outside, even if it is raining. The kids will have their own bathroom (HALLELUJAH)!  The only negative aspect is that I can't get U-Verse.  But you can't have everything, right?   I am super excited and grateful that I get the blessing of making a new home for my family.  I am going to focus on all of the positive changes and hopefully that will help this terrible heartache. 

Until next time....... :-)