You are braver than you think......

I have decided to begin working towards my PhD.  I love teaching at the college level.  To further my career at this level, I think a PhD will be beneficial.  I was thinking on my way to work this morning about how very difficult this task is going to be.  I have been thinking of putting it off, because the work load will be tremendous.  I am not certain I want to dedicate myself to that right now.  I recently moved to my dream house, and I have so much to do there.  Next year, both kids will be involved in sports, and shouldn't I wait until they are older?

I've come to the realization that I keep coming up with 800 million reasons why I can't do this right now because I am truly scared.  I am not afraid that I am not smart enough, I know that I am.  I have not forgotten graduate school, and that was really hard!  It was not hard because of what we had to learn, it was hard because the workload was do or die!  If you can survive this, you will get that MBA.  Of course I did.  I have never failed at a single thing I put my mind to completing.  It is a reasonable fear because there are not many people in the world that are successful at this level.  I have had all these things going through my mind, choking my reason and sanity.  Then I thought about this quote a colleague of mine got in his going away card last week (you know how I love quotes!).
Hope is a state of mind, not of the world.  Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.-Vaclav Havel (1936)

I think about this and it makes me smile.  It is a good and noble thing to teach these students.  It is a great and wonderful thing to help them accomplish their dreams.  I can do this, and I can do this even better once I manage to obtain this PhD.  So, I am going to keep studying and kill this GRE.  I will get this done, because it is important to me and to the future of my family.  There is also a tiny vain part of me in there somewhere that can't wait for you all to call me Dr. Kathy!

Good day to you all, until next time.  Remember to keep hoping, because you are braver than you think.  KB